Gaining Perspective from a Movie

I was feeling a little sorry for myself and in a little bit of a pity party funk. I could see what was going on and I knew I needed to shake myself out of it.

Changing my focus didn't come as easily as I'd liked. I tries quiet meditation - it turned to stewing. I tried active busywork - it was a distraction for a short time. The underlying issue just kept rearing it's ugly head. As I went about the day and began focusing on all that I have to be grateful for the funk eventually worked itself out. I was on my way to a renewed attitude.

It was with this experience that I took in The Pursuit of Happyness.
I wasn't sure what to expect. I'd heard that it was a movie about a homeless guy who became a stock broker. I must say it was a little tough to watch at times. Will Smith's character Chris is working his butt off and trying to be the man he needs to be to support his family. Already I liked him.

But life's not working for him. The money isn't coming in. He's making poor choices. He's conflicted. Then an opportunity for change presents itself. The cost is high. His wife leaves him, he loses his home, and he must struggle to come up with money for the most basic necessities of life while he trains for his possible new job and cares for his young son. His love for his son and his desire to provide him with the father he never had pushes him along on this journey. There is a scene where he is cradling his sleeping son in a subway bathroom while holding the door shut with his foot as someone bangs on it. Tears stream down his face. He would do anything for his son.

Well... my petty problems just slammed into perspective. I have so much to be thankful for -

• our home complete with furniture, food, clothes and heating in a good neighborhood


• my immediate family, who is in good health and gets along


• my extended family, who is near and far (but basically healthy and in good shape)


• my job, which is a nice fit for my life right now with great people financial freedom, no debt and a contingency fund that can help us through just about any rough patch


• friends who love me and care about me


• access to good medical care and healing medications


• frivolous stuff like TV, quilting, good books, restaurants, reliable cars, etc.

Sometimes a good movie can really put things in perspective.

What r u thankful 4?

The Goal of Life

Oh how I wish I could "do it all." There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day. Perhaps that's because the goal is perfection not enjoyment. Is being the perfect mom, wife, homemaker, employee, blogger really what's important to me? I'm afraid to say that is what my subconscious tells me more often than not. It goes something like this - anything worth doing is worth doing perfectly (or just don't even try). In reality I know that perfection is not attainable. Yet I let its lure rob me of the joy of the moment. I need to stop that.

Recently I've been on a Food Network kick. Watching those shows - like Paula's Party, The Neely's Down Under, Rachel Ray - isn't so much about the food for me. Yes, I'm hoping to pick up a few pointers on cooking, because mine is atrocious. But I really watch them because the people have infectious, happy personalities and really seem to enjoy life.

It would seem to me that the people who have perfection as a goal don't look like they are enjoying life. They are too busy trying to live up to some lofty standard that few, if any, care about. When I think to the end of my days and wonder if I'll be able to hear the chatter at my funeral I don't want to hear people talk about my perfectly clean house or how excellently I sewed stuff or even what great shape I'm in (not). I would hope to hear them say that I was a happy person who enjoyed laughter and enjoyed life. Now that's a goal!

I'm thankful for the freedom to choose what kind of life I'll have.

What r u thankful 4?

To-Do List

It's so nice to complete a task that has been on my to-do list for a while. It wasn't a have-to-do. It was more of a want-to-do. I have a few Christmas gifts I'd like to make for family members. I just haven't been able to get to the sewing machine. I'm not sure if it's a real time shortage, a plethora of distractions or some sort of sewers block, but I wasn't creating anything new.

I certainly don't lack for projects so that's not the problem. I seem to find time for the mending, but not for the sewing - not for the fun stuff. Only by making myself start the project was I able to get motivated to finish it. It didn't even take very long...only a few hours.

That perfectionist in me wants to have everything I make turn out perfectly. My inner realist tells me to forget perfection and shoot for completion. As I sewed I realized that it's about neither perfection nor completion, but it's about enjoyment.

Sewing is what I enjoy. I tend to put it off until all the work is done. But life keeps whizzing by and I keep working and the enjoyment (sewing) keeps getting postponed indefinitely. Sometimes for me the tough choice is the decision to play - to let the floor stay dirty, leave the laundry in the basket, let the bills sit and focus on something that is just for me. It's funny how playing hooky from daily responsibilities feels so indulgent, even if it's only for a morning. But that's what I did - indulge, play hooky, sew, and make a Christmas gift. Yeah!

I'm thankful that I have the ability and freedom to exercise my passions. God has made me a creative being and given me the resources to explore that creativity. Sewing needs to make it on my to-do list more often.

Want to see what I made?



What r u thankful 4?

Gratification

I attended a wedding recently. After the wedding there was a lovely reception complete with cake and dancing. But mostly there was a lot of time. A couple hundred guests attended - some I knew, many I didn't. I've known a small group of people there for about 30 years and I'm not that old!

As I was mixing and mingling I ran into a gal from my church who also happened to be a Sunday School teacher for my kids back when they were in Kindergarten. She was coming at me with focus in her eyes. She needed to tell me something...something important.

It seems that in the church service a few weeks back she spied my son being chivalrous and was so impressed that she felt compelled to share all the details with me. It went something like this -

There was an older woman in sitting in service near the back of the auditorium. She sensed that the service was coming to a close and arose to leave, walker in hand. As she neared the door to exit, my son was waiting to hold the door open for her. He smiled and wished her well before as she departed and then went back to his seat unaware that he was being watched. The onlooking Sunday School teacher was so impressed that an 18-year-old had been paying attention as well as actually made a move to help the older woman.

I think she had a few reasons for telling me about this incident. You see she is the mother of 5 children, four of which are boys, who are all grown up now. She understands that for a boy to attend to the need of another he has to be trained in sensitivity and manners. She remembers my son as being a high energy kid with a big heart. She was pleased to see that energy had channelled itself into productive behaviour. I'm sure she also remembers how nice it was to hear good reports about her boys and wanted to be the bearer of one of those reports to another mother. I don't think a mother ever tires of hearing such tales about her child.

As I listened my sense of pride in my son grew exponentially. He's a good kid (now actually a young adult) and other people think so too. Wikipedia says that gratification is the positive emotional response of happiness in response to a fulfillment of a desire. And what mother doesn't desire to have her child grow up to be this kind of adult?

Vote

This is the day that will change the world...or at least the United States of America. That's what I'm hearing today as I listen to and watch the news.



I voted by mail last week to avoid waiting in line, but I don't think it worked. I will be accompanying my oldest child to the polling place. He is soooo excited to be a part of this historic election.

He has done the research and made his choices. He is proud to be a voter this year and finds this whole business very exciting. It's fun to see his enthusiasm. And you can bet he'll be watching the news...Fox news most likely, to see the outcome. It's good to be reminded about the specialness of this privilege. We really do live in a great country!

What r u thankful for?

Discovery

The world is full of things that I don't know about. Okay, maybe I know about some of those things, but I don't get how they work. That was the case with Facebook. I've had a Facebook account for over a year now. I got it as part part of a research project for work. It was interesting, but I really didn't see the appeal and found it to be less than exciting.

That all changed with a chance encounter with an old acquaintance. I don't even know Kathy that well, but we run in the same circles. She was telling me about the wonderful experience she had with Facebook and raving about how much fun it was to find friends. Her enthusiasm was contagious and I just had to go check it out again.



That was three days ago. I can hardly rip myself away from the computer. I'm having so much fun making friends. I've found some old school chums, some people from my early married days and a whole bunch of people from that circle of friends mentioned above.

Facebook is the MySpace of my generation. There's not a lot of tricking out of Facebook pages. These people work for a living. But there are lots of pictures of kids and grand kids. It's so much fun to catch up or just be reminded of things I knew but had been tucked back in the recesses of my brain.

Now if I can just rip myself away long enough to have a life I'll have something to write about on Facebook.

I'm thankful for Facebook and friends. What r u thankful 4?

Baby Steps

Procrastination. Fear. Reluctance.Caution. It could be any of these that is slowing me down. You see I have this project. It's a Halloween costume. Sure, yeah, who isn't making a Halloween costume this week? Yes, but I started this costume back in August. I should be done by now. Actually I should have been finished a while ago.

There are three parts to the costume - a dress, a skirt and a corset. You guessed it - a pirate. I'm not going to be a pirate. This is the costume my daughter has been eyeing for months. Granted, she's not four years old, so I can't just slap it together. No...it has to "authentic," which means it takes a lot more work.

I've been sewing most of my life and have tackled many of the challenges of garment construction. Along with the successful completion of many garments I've also done my fair share of "un-sewing," otherwise known as ripping out - a disgusting term. But in this costume, I've stumbled on a job that must be done well the first time. I'll have ten opportunities for success here. Ten cute little brass grommets. How hard can it be, right?

Well, all it takes is one slip and the corset is a goner. These things aren't forgiving. So, I'm going at it very methodically. First - make a small sample with the same fabrics as the original item. Next - buy the grommets (lots of grommets - extras for all the testing). Going on - try out the tools. Moving along - make various test placements, try various threading materials, call the mother-in-law for advice, pray, deep breathing exercises.

You get the idea. This is stall time. Or is it? I like to think of it as baby steps. As I progress on this path I'm learning and gaining confidence, so that I can make my final approach with a reasonable assurance of success. I'm taking baby steps.

I'm thankful for the ability to sew - first learned in Jr. High with Mrs. Smith oh so many years ago. I'm also thankful that I can show love to my daughter in a tangible way that any teenage girl can appreciate - a Halloween costume.

What r u thankful 4?